SWNSDerick and his partner were billed for missing a ski party for Alex's friend's birthday party
It happens to some when their children are babies.
Grown adults start throwing tantrums over the availability of organic purée and agree to remortgage the house for the price of a pushchair.
Speak above a whisper within earshot of their sleeping tot and they will briefly consider battering you to death with a blackout blind.
Then there are those who were brilliant with babies but finally blow a gasket when their children become teenagers.
Unable to cope with their offspring being out of their control, they develop an unhealthy obsession with things like personal hygiene and Facebook.
And then there is that unique breed of parent who go into meltdown shortly after their little darlings start school.
One minute they are inviting a classmate for a play date, the next they are maniacally rooting around in their book bag to find out whether they are on a higher reading level than their own sprog.
However, it has been some time since a pair of parents have lost the plot quite so spectacularly as Julie and Simon Lawrence.
When a classmate failed to turn up for their son Charlie’s birthday party, the Lawrences took the bonkers step of issuing his parents with an invoice.
It read: “Quantity 1 : Childs (sic) Party No Show Fee, £15.95.” The professionally produced bill was dated and even had an invoice number, 1432, suggesting it wasn’t the only one they sent out.
Did they also charge the parents of children who nicked one of Charlie’s Wotsits at lunch, I wonder?
“Dear Mr and Mrs X, it has come to our attention that your son ate three of Charlie’s raisins yesterday, that will be 6p please.”
Tanya Walsh and her partner Derek Nash, whose son Alex missed the party, have subsequently been threatened with legal action over the bill, which they refuse to pay on the grounds that they had tried to resolve the situation amicably.
Alex’s parents admit they failed to tell the Lawrences he could not make Charlie’s party at Plymouth Ski and Snowboard Centre because it clashed with a family occasion but rightly say the bill is taking the piste.
It is poor Alex I feel sorry for in all this.
Not only has the child missed out on half an hour on a snow run, three toboggan rides, food and drink and balloons, but he is now at war with a fellow five-year-old.
What I want to know is whatever happened to pass-the-parcel and jelly and ice cream?
The average class size in state primary schools is 30, which means this party would have cost around £475 if everyone was invited, which is ridiculous.
This sorry saga might sound preposterous but actually it is a parable of modern parenthood.
These days mothers and fathers not only do too much with their children but also spend far too much money in the process.
Last week it was reported that the cost of raising a child has soared by 23 per cent over the past decade to £230,000. The study by insurer LV= found that parents now spend on average nearly a third of their pre-tax annual salary on just one son or daughter.
We’re all guilty of splashing too much cash, myself included.
If we aren’t buying them electronic toys that cost the earth, it is after-school swimming lessons and tennis coaching at £100 a term.
I cannot remember my parents doing half as much with me. We were largely left to our own devices, and told to make our own amusement.
These days children complain of boredom within five seconds of the iPad being switched off.
Forget ski slopes and snowboard centres, let the little blighters make do with Pin The Tail On The Donkey. That way parents might avoid making complete asses of themselves.
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EROTEMEAmanda Holden took the tube to the NTAs and tweeted a pic of her journey earlier this week
Is there anything worse than a celebrity on civvy street? Amanda Holden tweeted a photograph of herself on the Underground last week.
“We’ve caught the Tube to the NTAs! Best way to travel!”
Really, Amanda? If you regularly took to TFL’s escalators in your Louboutins then why on earth would you feel the need to tweet about it? Yes love, millions of us travel on trains not once but twice a day, often in posh frocks and high heels.
Just imagine if the former Blind Date contestant found herself having to travel by bus with bags of shopping (#iwanna livelike commonpeople).
I can forgive the famous for forgetting what it is like to be normal, but not when they’ve been married to Les Dennis.
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REXAnne Kirkbride played Coronation Street's Deirdre Barlow for 42 years
With her Dennis Taylor-esque glasses and chequered love life, Deirdre Barlow was instantly recognisable as one of Coronation Street’s most legendary characters.
So it is not surprising that there has been such a heartfelt outpouring of grief following the death last week of Anne Kirkbride, the actress who played her for an astonishing 42 years.
Although she started out as one of the Rovers Return Inn’s resident dolly birds, over the years we watched Deidre grow into one of the last great soap matriarchs.
She leaves behind such a lasting legacy because she felt like one of the family.
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